Dear men,
I am writing this to you, yes you. If you want the woman of your dreams, well... I can't guarantee that. It's not really up to me. But I can tell you what is important to most girls when it comes down to it, and that's gotta mean something.
1. Find the balance between never going after what you want, and being a total fucking creep. They're both equally horrible. If you see a woman you want, don't be a pussy. Even if you think she's out of your league, there is nothing a woman loves more than a confident man.. or just a man who has balls. Approach her respectably. Most women will not turn you down if they think you are at least normal. Do not "come on" to a woman. Noooooooobody likes that. We're not your prey.
2. Know social cues. Do not touch a woman unless that caress is obviously wanted by both parties. A small brush of a hand against a woman's back can be the sexiest thing ever if done right. Ass-grabbing or getting so close I can smell your dirty alcoholic mouth is disgusting.
3. Persistence can be a really bad thing. If you've tried a couple times, it's not gonna happen. It's not because she's afraid of falling in love with you or is blinded by your hotness. She's not into it.
4. This is strictly my opinion here, but I think this is just wonderful. If you take a lady out, no matter how drunk she gets or how bad she wants it, do not kiss her. Do not fuck her. Make her wait. It'll throw her off, in a good way. I swear to you. Then when you finally do, it will be mind-blowing.
5. Make sure to clean underneath your fingernails. Girls look at that stuff.
6. Don't get really drunk on the first date. How about don't get drunk at all. Take the girl somewhere out of the ordinary.
7. First date: always pay. Just always pay. I will not budge on this one. It's manners every man should follow in my opinion. Yeah, sure, later on if you start dating it can become more equal but on the first date, PAY. There's nothing a girl loves more than thinking of a big strong man paying for her shit.
8. Don't play too hard to get. Games are just kinda dumb. If it's obvious you were both diggin it, I can guarantee she wants you to text her after the date and be like, "look... maybe I'm not 'supposed' to say this but when can I see you again?" If you wait a couple of days, she's just gonna get all anxious and think you don't like her. Just feel out the vibes.
9. As much as it's nice to hear you're "hot", tell a girl something you like about her personality. And be genuine about it. Don't be lame. Figure out that talent she has that she's proud of and compliment her on it.
10. Don't eat gross.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
The obvious.
My name is Geneva. I have blonde hair. I am sitting on a four-legged object called a chair. Did you know if you drink enough alcohol it makes you drunk? Sometimes it's light out, then sometimes it's dark out. If you have sex with a stranger and don't use a condom you might get a disease. The leaves change color in the fall time. Music is heard with your ears. Brushing your teeth makes your teeth not rot. When it's cold it's smart to put on a sweatshirt. If you eat McDonalds every day that means you like McDonalds a lot. Bicycles have two wheels. Cars have four. Grass is green. Unless it's really dry out then it turns this brownish color. Boys have penises. Some people take things too seriously.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Justifications.
Justifications- Excuses people make for themselves when they know they're fucking up but don't want to come to terms.
Just for the record, this is not a drug awareness post. This is shit I say or probably have said regularly so don't take it like I'm being self righteous. Haha.
"You only live once!"
"I'm young. This is what young people do."
"Don't knock it till you try it."
"Live fast, die young."
"I'm in my experimental years."
"They're just jealous."
"Wanna do a bump?"
"It's punk rock and/or metal."
"They're just close-minded."
"I don't care what other people think."
"I can stop any time I want to."
"I'm totally not an addict, alcoholism doesn't even run in my family."
"It really helped us connect on another level."
"It's not heroin, it's oxycontin."
"It's all about moderation."
"No, trust me man, the guy said it was pure."
"I worked there for over 5 years. There's no way they would fire me."
"I just do it on the weekends."
"What's so wrong with having fun."
"Dude, it just mellows you out."
"It helps me focus. I actually think I'm the person I'm SUPPOSED to be when I'm on it."
"Just this once."
"I seriously haven't done it in 7 months."
"It's ok if like, you're not doing it ALLLLL the time."
"It doesn't affect my life."
"They just don't really understand."
"Dude, my mom used to party like this. We smoked weed together the other day."
"Gotta start somewhere, right?"
"You'll totally view the world differently after."
"At least he was hot."
"I don't smoke it, I just snort it. It's way different."
"I have a SPLITTING headache and I just don't know why."
"But that's not why I'm depressed."
"She does it ALL the time, I seriously only do it once in awhile."
"I don't even like it that much."
"I just got dumped."
"It's not like I would ever BUY it. I'll do it if it's offered to me though."
"You just have to be able to handle yourself. Then you're fine."
"As long as it's pure MDMA and not ecstasy it's safe and fun."
"I just need to smoke some weed and I'll be fine."
"They say it's fucking up my life but you know they used to do the same shit."
"I don't have a problem."
"AA is for douchebags."
"I'm not lazy I just genuinely don't enjoy it. If I enjoyed it I would be like the best worker ever."
"No, I'm just tired."
"I don't have money because I work a minimum wage job and I have to pay rent."
"Nothing this awesome can be that bad for you."
Just for the record, this is not a drug awareness post. This is shit I say or probably have said regularly so don't take it like I'm being self righteous. Haha.
"You only live once!"
"I'm young. This is what young people do."
"Don't knock it till you try it."
"Live fast, die young."
"I'm in my experimental years."
"They're just jealous."
"Wanna do a bump?"
"It's punk rock and/or metal."
"They're just close-minded."
"I don't care what other people think."
"I can stop any time I want to."
"I'm totally not an addict, alcoholism doesn't even run in my family."
"It really helped us connect on another level."
"It's not heroin, it's oxycontin."
"It's all about moderation."
"No, trust me man, the guy said it was pure."
"I worked there for over 5 years. There's no way they would fire me."
"I just do it on the weekends."
"What's so wrong with having fun."
"Dude, it just mellows you out."
"It helps me focus. I actually think I'm the person I'm SUPPOSED to be when I'm on it."
"Just this once."
"I seriously haven't done it in 7 months."
"It's ok if like, you're not doing it ALLLLL the time."
"It doesn't affect my life."
"They just don't really understand."
"Dude, my mom used to party like this. We smoked weed together the other day."
"Gotta start somewhere, right?"
"You'll totally view the world differently after."
"At least he was hot."
"I don't smoke it, I just snort it. It's way different."
"I have a SPLITTING headache and I just don't know why."
"But that's not why I'm depressed."
"She does it ALL the time, I seriously only do it once in awhile."
"I don't even like it that much."
"I just got dumped."
"It's not like I would ever BUY it. I'll do it if it's offered to me though."
"You just have to be able to handle yourself. Then you're fine."
"As long as it's pure MDMA and not ecstasy it's safe and fun."
"I just need to smoke some weed and I'll be fine."
"They say it's fucking up my life but you know they used to do the same shit."
"I don't have a problem."
"AA is for douchebags."
"I'm not lazy I just genuinely don't enjoy it. If I enjoyed it I would be like the best worker ever."
"No, I'm just tired."
"I don't have money because I work a minimum wage job and I have to pay rent."
"Nothing this awesome can be that bad for you."
Best ways to insure you continue missing your ex forever.
1. Get completely and fully belligerent as often as possible. This way, you will feel really overjoyed about nothing for two-three hours and then all of a sudden, in the middle of a bar with no hot guys, you will feel a feeling of complete and utter loneliness. When this loneliness attacks, you will do almost ANYTHING to make it go away. Loneliness suppression tips: lines of cocaine in the bathroom, texting and/or calling your ex or anybody for that matter who has ever shown you any kind of attention whatsoever, or, my next point.....
2. Have sex with a guy you hardly know and doesn't compare in any way, shape or form to your ex. This way, it will be a great reminder how awesome your sex life USED to be, and how guilty and worthless you feel now.
3. Make sure you have Facebook accessible on your phone at all times. Facebook is your home page with your ex's username and password locked. This way, you will have easy access to everything he/she is doing and everyone he/she is doing at all times. You will constantly feel uneasy and sad, but at least you will have full control over their Facebook page.
4. Re-read the love letters he/she wrote you in the beginning of your relationship as to never forget the fact that you once had a perfect romance. If no love letters were written, I'm positive there are other ways to torture yourself. Sometimes it helps to just sit there in silence, shut your eyes, and re-imagine all the things you really loved about the person. This will lead to re-living wonderful memories and fond feelings toward the ex. Once this happens, you will immediately experience sorrow.
5. Try to put yourself in places/situations you think your ex might be. Continuously ask if your ex is going to be there, and if the answer is yes, ALWAYS show up.
6. You can also drive by your ex's place of employment. This will give you no satisfaction, because you won't see them, you will just see the building they work in and, if you're lucky, their car. But if you do it enough times, hopefully one of these days you'll see them on their lunch break. But they won't see you, because you'll be driving by really fast.
7. Listen to songs that you both cherished as a couple. Loud. In the car. Alone. So as to cry and yearn for them in your bones.
8. Write a long list of all the things you love about your ex. Then slip it in their mailbox. They are sure to want you back now.
9. Make sure you remind people over and over the "cute" story of how you guys met, and how you and his/her mom are still close.
10. Keep some of their clothes and wear them to bed. Never wash them, so as to keep their scent with you forever.
11. Accidentally run into their close friends regularly. Pry them about details of your ex's current life, including whether or not your ex is "home very much". Or, if they've been "hanging out with anybody new". Always make an effort to become closest with your ex's friends at this time.
12. Make sure to masturbate at least two times daily. This will remind you that you no longer have someone doing the job for you.
13. Always leave something important to you at your ex's house. That way, not all ties are cut.
14. Be alone as much as humanly possible. Do not hang out with your friends or family ever. Give yourself much time to sit in silence and think. Make sure the room is dark.
15. Watch "The Notebook".
16. Talk a lot of shit about your ex's new girlfriend/boyfriend. This will make you look really cool.
17. Write a lot of sad quotes/lyrics on Facebook. Your ex is totally gonna read them, and this will make them want you desperately.
18. Friend request your ex's new girlfriend/boyfriend. Make sure to "like" a lot of their status'. This will make you appear to be "happy" for them as to make them think you are so fucking mature.
19. Consistently pursue your ex for the "closure you never got". Be it coffee, lunch, or maybe just a accidental sexual rendez-vous. I mean, that would definitely give you closure. Just seeing them one more time.
20. Text them things like, "oh hey.. what's the name of that one band?" or, "do you have that one DVD I left at your place?" These are things you actually don't give two fucks about, they just initiate conversation... hopefully.
21. Make a fake Facebook of a girl, then see if your ex will take the bait. If he doesn't, you know there's still a chance.
22. Constantly tell yourself there could have been something you could have done to prevent the break-up.
23. Start doing LOTS of drugs. Drugs help to alleviate some of the loneliness temporarily, but the comedown propels you into a world of depression- linked with undeniable loneliness and anxiety. You will be ridden with the memory of the comfort you had when you were laying in your ex's arms. This is a rude awakening and reminder of your current state of simply just "existing". Not to mention nobody loves you.
24. Make sure that while you're doing these drugs, you are with a group of losers.
25. Also, make sure these drugs keep you up for days on end. Therefore, you will have more time to think about said ex. No need to waste thoughts that could be used for lonely purposes on sleeping.
26. Become fully engulfed in a really bad relationship. This way, it will remind you every day of how much you miss your ex.
27. Or, if you're not a "relationship" person anymore, just get a not-so-attractive fuck buddy. This ALWAYS guarantees that you will stay drunk because you will never, EVER have to face the reality of how shitty they are. And we all know, staying drunk always leads to many thoughts of the ex.
28. Dine alone.
29. The album of you and your ex on Facebook? Don't take it down. Just make it only viewable by YOU.
30. And just remember, every thought and word you speak can ALWAYS be related back to your ex. Make it work.
2. Have sex with a guy you hardly know and doesn't compare in any way, shape or form to your ex. This way, it will be a great reminder how awesome your sex life USED to be, and how guilty and worthless you feel now.
3. Make sure you have Facebook accessible on your phone at all times. Facebook is your home page with your ex's username and password locked. This way, you will have easy access to everything he/she is doing and everyone he/she is doing at all times. You will constantly feel uneasy and sad, but at least you will have full control over their Facebook page.
4. Re-read the love letters he/she wrote you in the beginning of your relationship as to never forget the fact that you once had a perfect romance. If no love letters were written, I'm positive there are other ways to torture yourself. Sometimes it helps to just sit there in silence, shut your eyes, and re-imagine all the things you really loved about the person. This will lead to re-living wonderful memories and fond feelings toward the ex. Once this happens, you will immediately experience sorrow.
5. Try to put yourself in places/situations you think your ex might be. Continuously ask if your ex is going to be there, and if the answer is yes, ALWAYS show up.
6. You can also drive by your ex's place of employment. This will give you no satisfaction, because you won't see them, you will just see the building they work in and, if you're lucky, their car. But if you do it enough times, hopefully one of these days you'll see them on their lunch break. But they won't see you, because you'll be driving by really fast.
7. Listen to songs that you both cherished as a couple. Loud. In the car. Alone. So as to cry and yearn for them in your bones.
8. Write a long list of all the things you love about your ex. Then slip it in their mailbox. They are sure to want you back now.
9. Make sure you remind people over and over the "cute" story of how you guys met, and how you and his/her mom are still close.
10. Keep some of their clothes and wear them to bed. Never wash them, so as to keep their scent with you forever.
11. Accidentally run into their close friends regularly. Pry them about details of your ex's current life, including whether or not your ex is "home very much". Or, if they've been "hanging out with anybody new". Always make an effort to become closest with your ex's friends at this time.
12. Make sure to masturbate at least two times daily. This will remind you that you no longer have someone doing the job for you.
13. Always leave something important to you at your ex's house. That way, not all ties are cut.
14. Be alone as much as humanly possible. Do not hang out with your friends or family ever. Give yourself much time to sit in silence and think. Make sure the room is dark.
15. Watch "The Notebook".
16. Talk a lot of shit about your ex's new girlfriend/boyfriend. This will make you look really cool.
17. Write a lot of sad quotes/lyrics on Facebook. Your ex is totally gonna read them, and this will make them want you desperately.
18. Friend request your ex's new girlfriend/boyfriend. Make sure to "like" a lot of their status'. This will make you appear to be "happy" for them as to make them think you are so fucking mature.
19. Consistently pursue your ex for the "closure you never got". Be it coffee, lunch, or maybe just a accidental sexual rendez-vous. I mean, that would definitely give you closure. Just seeing them one more time.
20. Text them things like, "oh hey.. what's the name of that one band?" or, "do you have that one DVD I left at your place?" These are things you actually don't give two fucks about, they just initiate conversation... hopefully.
21. Make a fake Facebook of a girl, then see if your ex will take the bait. If he doesn't, you know there's still a chance.
22. Constantly tell yourself there could have been something you could have done to prevent the break-up.
23. Start doing LOTS of drugs. Drugs help to alleviate some of the loneliness temporarily, but the comedown propels you into a world of depression- linked with undeniable loneliness and anxiety. You will be ridden with the memory of the comfort you had when you were laying in your ex's arms. This is a rude awakening and reminder of your current state of simply just "existing". Not to mention nobody loves you.
24. Make sure that while you're doing these drugs, you are with a group of losers.
25. Also, make sure these drugs keep you up for days on end. Therefore, you will have more time to think about said ex. No need to waste thoughts that could be used for lonely purposes on sleeping.
26. Become fully engulfed in a really bad relationship. This way, it will remind you every day of how much you miss your ex.
27. Or, if you're not a "relationship" person anymore, just get a not-so-attractive fuck buddy. This ALWAYS guarantees that you will stay drunk because you will never, EVER have to face the reality of how shitty they are. And we all know, staying drunk always leads to many thoughts of the ex.
28. Dine alone.
29. The album of you and your ex on Facebook? Don't take it down. Just make it only viewable by YOU.
30. And just remember, every thought and word you speak can ALWAYS be related back to your ex. Make it work.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Octobes.
It's all stormy today. Stormy fall nights give me that bittersweet nostalgic feeling. Only fall really does this to me and I don't know why. But I'd have to say I like it.
Fall makes me want to drive around pointlessly at strange hours of the night. Watch the leaves circling around in the wind. Maybe drive through ghetto neighborhoods and feel invincible cuz I'm in my nice warm LOCKED car.
Got to talkin today, and it's weird. When you think back to times in your life and you were like, "those were the good old days". Sometimes I think back to periods of time and a fondness comes over me, this undeniable longing to be there again. Then I will remember that at that time I actually wasn't happy at all. But there's this feeling of wanting to go back. And it makes me think, I should really be happy today and every day. Because in a certain matter of time I am going to look back on myself RIGHT NOW and miss it.
Sometimes I worry that I am going to be alone forever. Not in a "feel bad for me" kind of way. It's just a legitimate worry. Like, what if I meet a lot of people but no one ever really works out for me? I guess it's not something I have control over, and I should probably just leave it up to God. But it's somethin you wonder kinda. Cuz don't you think it would be sad? To never really find that person in your life? I wanna be one of those old people holding hands with my signifant other old person and take a really long time crossing the street.
Anywayyy, guess that's all. Fall is fun and so is that weird nostalgia feeling.
Oh also, I really don't like people that refer to fall as "autumn". It sounds old personish or like it would be the name of some white trash chick so just don't do it.
Fall makes me want to drive around pointlessly at strange hours of the night. Watch the leaves circling around in the wind. Maybe drive through ghetto neighborhoods and feel invincible cuz I'm in my nice warm LOCKED car.
Got to talkin today, and it's weird. When you think back to times in your life and you were like, "those were the good old days". Sometimes I think back to periods of time and a fondness comes over me, this undeniable longing to be there again. Then I will remember that at that time I actually wasn't happy at all. But there's this feeling of wanting to go back. And it makes me think, I should really be happy today and every day. Because in a certain matter of time I am going to look back on myself RIGHT NOW and miss it.
Sometimes I worry that I am going to be alone forever. Not in a "feel bad for me" kind of way. It's just a legitimate worry. Like, what if I meet a lot of people but no one ever really works out for me? I guess it's not something I have control over, and I should probably just leave it up to God. But it's somethin you wonder kinda. Cuz don't you think it would be sad? To never really find that person in your life? I wanna be one of those old people holding hands with my signifant other old person and take a really long time crossing the street.
Anywayyy, guess that's all. Fall is fun and so is that weird nostalgia feeling.
Oh also, I really don't like people that refer to fall as "autumn". It sounds old personish or like it would be the name of some white trash chick so just don't do it.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Walls
when you laugh i laugh
i wait until you break the silence
i part my lips with hesitance
you spill your words with ease
i am but a shadow
cast from your bedpost
i follow you around
always keep my distance
well i've been hiding out with you
i wish that you would notice
you're my background noise
i see your face in the walls
i wait until you break the silence
i part my lips with hesitance
you spill your words with ease
i am but a shadow
cast from your bedpost
i follow you around
always keep my distance
well i've been hiding out with you
i wish that you would notice
you're my background noise
i see your face in the walls
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Rules of the game that I usually don't follow but should.
A man is simple. He thinks in black and white and with his dick. He either a.) likes you, or b.) doesn't. If he likes you, he WILL make it work. If he doesn't, get over it.
Girls these days are just DUMB. You know what makes a man want you? Not making it obvious that you drive by his house on the regular.
There isn't much to it honestly, yet girls twist and transform every little spec of information they can get their paws on. Stop talking about it. Stop over-analyzing. It will get you nowhere because in most instances, what the man said is EXACTLY what he meant. There's really no use to try and "reach deeper". Guys don't think that hard about stuff.
If a dude breaks up with you, move the fuck on. I know this because I've been there, and I have made all the mistakes. You go through the drunken slut phase, the stalking phase, the "I'm actually totally sober now and doing sooo well for myself that I have to let everybody know about it so it will get back to my ex and he'll want me back" phase. The worst thing you can do is make it really fucking obvious how miserable you are. My best advice: Get really skinny, get your hair and nails done, and walk around looking hot everywhere you go. Be respectable. Don't make it painfully obvious to all of Facebook that you miss the shit out of your ex boyfriend. And never, I mean NEVER beg. Begging is lame. If you feel the need to literally BEG for what you want, that can't be good for you.
For girls who are trying to get a dude, here is my advice. If you've let him know you're into it and he has not made the steps to follow- HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU LIKE THAT. Stop trying. Be cool, chill out and find someone else. Don't be desperate, it is the most unflattering shade on a woman.
I do think it's good for a lady to be bold though. If you see a dude that you want, hit on him. Make the first move. Whatever. Just be able to get the point if it doesn't go the way you want it to.
Another tip: Don't be that jealous girl. Jealousy is gross. It makes you look really unsexy and retarded.
Also: Don't be that drunk girl.
If a guy really digs you, he will make sure to always text you back. He won't leave you hanging, he won't leave you feeling confused, he'll make it perfectly clear that you are his number one lady. He will want to be with you all the time. He won't talk to other bitches, hang out with other bitches, or cheat on you with other bitches. If a guy is NOT doing this, you should NOT be wasting your time. Simple as that.
I just see sooo many girls getting sooo butthurt over guys, and it's really not worth it. That is clearly just not the man for you. There are others. Don't shit your pants over it. Be classy and shut up.
Girls these days are just DUMB. You know what makes a man want you? Not making it obvious that you drive by his house on the regular.
There isn't much to it honestly, yet girls twist and transform every little spec of information they can get their paws on. Stop talking about it. Stop over-analyzing. It will get you nowhere because in most instances, what the man said is EXACTLY what he meant. There's really no use to try and "reach deeper". Guys don't think that hard about stuff.
If a dude breaks up with you, move the fuck on. I know this because I've been there, and I have made all the mistakes. You go through the drunken slut phase, the stalking phase, the "I'm actually totally sober now and doing sooo well for myself that I have to let everybody know about it so it will get back to my ex and he'll want me back" phase. The worst thing you can do is make it really fucking obvious how miserable you are. My best advice: Get really skinny, get your hair and nails done, and walk around looking hot everywhere you go. Be respectable. Don't make it painfully obvious to all of Facebook that you miss the shit out of your ex boyfriend. And never, I mean NEVER beg. Begging is lame. If you feel the need to literally BEG for what you want, that can't be good for you.
For girls who are trying to get a dude, here is my advice. If you've let him know you're into it and he has not made the steps to follow- HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU LIKE THAT. Stop trying. Be cool, chill out and find someone else. Don't be desperate, it is the most unflattering shade on a woman.
I do think it's good for a lady to be bold though. If you see a dude that you want, hit on him. Make the first move. Whatever. Just be able to get the point if it doesn't go the way you want it to.
Another tip: Don't be that jealous girl. Jealousy is gross. It makes you look really unsexy and retarded.
Also: Don't be that drunk girl.
If a guy really digs you, he will make sure to always text you back. He won't leave you hanging, he won't leave you feeling confused, he'll make it perfectly clear that you are his number one lady. He will want to be with you all the time. He won't talk to other bitches, hang out with other bitches, or cheat on you with other bitches. If a guy is NOT doing this, you should NOT be wasting your time. Simple as that.
I just see sooo many girls getting sooo butthurt over guys, and it's really not worth it. That is clearly just not the man for you. There are others. Don't shit your pants over it. Be classy and shut up.
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