How to get a semi-attractive girl to have sex with you, or even just hang out with you and make you look good so someone else will have sex with you.

Now, before I go into this, let me make one thing clear. Girls like to have sex too. Often, it's all they want from a man. Whoever thought up this whole "girls getting used and getting their poor hearts trampled on" thing was a fucking idiot. Or probably a middle-aged woman who sits around the house all day watching Ann Hathaway movies and complaining about her vagina pains.

Women like to hump too. It's only natural. But since we are the more vulnerable of the species, if often seems that women are the ones getting fucked over by horny dudes who are just trying to put their wee-wee in something. In reality, a lot of women out there want the same things men want. The stupid women are the ones who allow themselves to "get used" by men and then complain about it for days. Nobody forced you to drink ten Bamboozles, seduce the guy at the bar and have consensual sex with him. Why are you now, the next day after you regret your decision, whining and bitching that this guy "totally used you"? Shut UP! While I understand there are always other circumstances, I am speaking on behalf of the women who simply just want to get laid, and can't seem to find a man that doesn't make her feel like she's simply just getting laid.

So I write this, not only for men to get a clue, but for the women that they are preying upon. Those women probably want to have sex with you, but the minute you fuck it up, say the wrong thing or wear the wrong shoes, your chance is OVER. If you don't want it to be, you should probably listen to everything I say.


First things first, you must find a middle ground between that fat boy complex you have inside your head, and that other complex which somehow allows you to believe that walking up to a woman will make her want to have sex with you. You're not that fucking hot, and if you were, you probably wouldn't need to read this.

On the contrary, no girl wants to fuck a man that wouldn't fuck himself. So figure out how to not consider yourself ugly, stupid and boring. The minute you say something like, "Yeah.. hot girls don't like me" or "Wow... someone like you would really want to go out with ME?" Yeah, that's the minute we realize you have ZERO confidence. And it grosses us out. I cannot stress it enough.. no matter HOW ugly you are, you CAN get a woman. If you are not getting any, you are simply sabotaging it for yourself.

So get that shit straight. Once you do that, find someone. And don't just go for anyone that has a vagina. Women can tell when you're not picky, which is also gross, because it leads us to believe that ALL you care about is getting dome by anyone who will have you. SICK. Find a girl that you think is hot, that you may have a chance with, and chat it up with her. If she is taken or uninterested, do not move on to one of her friends. Find a new group.

Okay, so, it's pretty self-explanatory what to do once this girl is seemingly interested in you. Obviously, don't fuck it up. You're going to want to invite her out on a casual date, not too casual and not too fancy. Something fun and not weird or obviously based around you getting laid. Something normal.

Once she agrees, because she probably will since you will not be acting like a douche-bag, leave it at that. Finish up your hangout session, agree to pick her up and said time and date, and leave for the night.


So, date night has come. I must stress that you need to show up at her house EXACTLY on time. If you are even the slightest bit early, you look eager. And it's also annoying as fuck because we are not done getting ready yet. We will be getting ready until the exact moment we are supposed to leave. You must also not show up late. Five minutes late TOPS.

Now, you are on the date. The girl has entered your vehicle, and of course you have the heat blasting and you are not playing douchey music. You are doing anything and everything to keep the conversation flowing. You reach your destination, let's just say you two are meeting at a bar/venue, which is usually the norm these days.

I realize that you have both chosen a place which is centered around booze and bad decisions, but you must not do what is expected of you. You are allowed to have three drinks at the most. The moment you start pounding the booze is the moment we realize you are totally an alcoholic. No girl wants to fuck a guy who she's probably going to have to be merely "tolerating" in less than an hour.

She is allowed to drink as much as she wants, but you are not going to condone her drinking more than she should. If she sees that you're not getting shit-faced, she probably won't want to either. Now, here comes the important part. No matter how tipsy or drunk she gets, you DO NOT invite her over to your place after. DO NOT hint, in any way, that you took her on this date because you wanted to get laid. There is a HUGE chance that she wants to have sex with you, if all is going well, but listen. And listen good. SHE MUST THINK THAT THE SEX IS HER IDEA. Yes, you heard me. She MUST think that any type of sexual encounter that happens between the two of you was HER idea and HER idea alone. Why? Because she doesn't want to feel like a piece of meat.

This is what a woman is thinking: "Wow. He is fucking HOT. Oh man. I wanna do him. I could do him. I'm really considering it actually. Maybe I will invite him over. But... it may be too soon tonight. I don't wanna come off as a whore. But DEFINITELY next time. But... if it does happen tonight, that would be okay too. But I'm going to see how it goes. Things are going well so far. What if I just invite him over, and it doesn't have to be anything. Then maybe.. maybe things will get hot and we'll start making out. And maybe just leave it at that... or maybe do more. Hmmm. That could be fun."

The minute that you RUDELY interrupt our train of thought by saying, "So... ya wanna come over to my place?" That's the moment our dreams are crushed. That's the moment we realize that nothing magical is going to happen, there will be no more excitement, no more build-up, no more "what if's". Nothin'. That is the moment that you become "that guy". And "that guy" only gets laid by dumb, ugly girls.

So, if she never invites you over on this date, don't poop your pants over it. Because guess what. The moment you say, "Alright lady.. this has been fun, howbout I give you a ride home and we can plan something for next weekend?" That is THE moment. Inside, this girl is thinking "OH YES. THIS GUY IS FUCKING HOT, NOT DESPERATE, AND HAS CLASS. YES YES YES YES YES." If you didn't get laid tonight, you're definitely getting laid next time.

You must not be eager. Your eagerness is completely fucking transparent to us. If you want to get laid but you can't wait till a second date or hangout to do it, you are way too fucking eager. Get a damn hooker.

Not all women are as stupid as they are often made out to be. The smart ones, we know what's up. We know the ins and outs of all your games. We know what you want the minute you lay your feasting eyes on us. And guess what? We want that too. The reason you may not be getting it is completely and utterly YOUR fault. So before you try your normal tactics, think again. You can have WHATEVER you want. It's all how you go about it.

Emotional Eater.

Below I have a list of human emotions, and the relationship each has with food.


-Anxiety over upcoming events->The feeling of stress->Food of every kind enters the mouth at every second of the day.

-Getting dumped->The feeling of stress/heartache->Only coffee, cigarettes, alcohol and/or your preference of drugs will be consumed for the next 3-6 weeks. Absolutely no food except the bare minimum needed to stay alive will be consumed.

-The use of adderall/cocaine/ecstasy/every drug besides marijuana->Temporary feelings of life being perfect->One will most likely be disgusted by the thought of food of any kind. When consumed, food will mimic the feeling of eating sand. After said drug has worn off, one will experience a feeling of unbearable hunger and will proceed to consume anything/everything available.

-The honeymoon stage->The feeling of being in love->Food will only be eaten when the other party eats, so that they don't think you're weird. Inside, though, the nervous-excited-poopy feeling is happening constantly making it impossible to find any interest in food whatsoever.

-Being in a serious relationship->Feelings of unconditional love/boredom/everyday stress->Regular-large amounts of food will be consumed. Mostly a lot of snacking. Late at night preferably.

-Pregnancy->Feelings of annoyance/stress/outbursts of love and happiness/exhaustion/fits of emotion/crying fits/lack of sex drive/too much sex drive/feeling fat/a baby growing inside you->One will consume extremely large meals, then get really full, really quickly. Only to discover, thirty minutes later that they are starving once again.

-Seeing yourself on video->Feelings of self-hatred/extreme vanity/self-loathing/disgust/anxiety/anger/rage->Everything and anything will be eaten that day, as it is going to be the last day you ever eat again.

-Coming down from any drug->Feelings of extreme exhaustion/possible sudden death/total depression/paranoia/sadness/anger/a loss of interest for pretty much everything even puppies->Large glasses of milk, big bowls of fruit, and anything that your mom may have once cooked you for breakfast will be consumed, as to make you feel like you are still the child you once were, and if not that, at least a normal, functioning human being.

-Boredom->Feelings of boredom->Food is pretty much the only thing around worthy of counting on.

-Recent weight loss->Feelings of total elation/true and real happiness/all is right in the world/nothing can bring you down/the sun is shining everywhere/everyone wants to be you/gratefulness just to be living->Eating food becomes enjoyable, since one has zero desire to go overboard.

-Hearing your ex has moved on->Feelings of hatred/rage/hellish doom/anxiety ridden panic attacks/utter depression/annoyance/urge to kill->Any food that was once consumed will immediately and forcefully be spewed out of one's mouth through the act of making oneself vomit.

-Being single for a long period of time->Feelings of boredom/loneliness/horniness->The act of yo-yo dieting will occur, pretty much every day.