Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Octobes.

It's all stormy today. Stormy fall nights give me that bittersweet nostalgic feeling. Only fall really does this to me and I don't know why. But I'd have to say I like it.

Fall makes me want to drive around pointlessly at strange hours of the night. Watch the leaves circling around in the wind. Maybe drive through ghetto neighborhoods and feel invincible cuz I'm in my nice warm LOCKED car.

Got to talkin today, and it's weird. When you think back to times in your life and you were like, "those were the good old days". Sometimes I think back to periods of time and a fondness comes over me, this undeniable longing to be there again. Then I will remember that at that time I actually wasn't happy at all. But there's this feeling of wanting to go back. And it makes me think, I should really be happy today and every day. Because in a certain matter of time I am going to look back on myself RIGHT NOW and miss it.

Sometimes I worry that I am going to be alone forever. Not in a "feel bad for me" kind of way. It's just a legitimate worry. Like, what if I meet a lot of people but no one ever really works out for me? I guess it's not something I have control over, and I should probably just leave it up to God. But it's somethin you wonder kinda. Cuz don't you think it would be sad? To never really find that person in your life? I wanna be one of those old people holding hands with my signifant other old person and take a really long time crossing the street.

Anywayyy, guess that's all. Fall is fun and so is that weird nostalgia feeling.

Oh also, I really don't like people that refer to fall as "autumn". It sounds old personish or like it would be the name of some white trash chick so just don't do it.

1 comment:

  1. I couldn't agree more. Fall although makes me feel nostalgic, It also makes me remember where I was at this time of year but like last year or something. I feel like my life is only getting better but I sometimes get sad just thinking about previous times and how in certain ways I was happier then. But fuck! I love fall/the hollllaaa days!

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