Fat Sixth Grader Mentality.

You know what's a weird thought? To think that each and every one of us, walking around with our chosen identities and masks to hide our true colors, are all realistically just a bunch of fat sixth grader masturbators on the inside.

That's how I associate myself. A fat sixth grader. I realize maybe that's not the grade everyone may choose, but that was by far my fattest and most loserish year to date, thus defining my self image forever. You see, underneath the red lipstick, platinum blonde hair and plethora of tattoos, I am a girl with excema all over her face, a really bad version of Posh Spice's pixie cut (that didn't work out because things like that don't look good on fat sixth graders), a stomach with three neatly placed fat rolls, and the inner dialogue of a girl who still plays school with her little sisters and probably doesn't know what her own vagina looks like. Not to say I was unhappy. In fact, I was quite content with my appearance. My mom instilled a wonderful sense of self-esteem in me which really saved me from being able to see myself in the mirror for what I actually looked like. Which was a raccoon. My deep-set eyes have always been an extremely endearing quality- if I were a rodent.

What I love about this is that every single one of us has these feelings. We are all just putting out into the world what we think people will approve of. Whether or not it is intentional, we are doing everything in our power not to be the kid we were in elementary school. This gives me a warm and happy feeling inside. It makes me feel that I like people more. You see, keeping in mind that we're all just walking around with fat sixth grader mentalities can really help one get ahead in life. It makes the world seem less scary. It makes people seem less intimidating.

Next time you see a hot chick or dude that you feel is way out of your league, consider this. Unless years of praise after their drastic turn for the better has inflated their self-worth to the point of no return, chances are this hot chick or hot dude identifies themselves as a lowly loser- just like you do! So don't let intimidation get the best of you. We're all a bunch of freaks on the inside.